Friday, 16 August 2013

The Twitterati

I’m quite new to Twitter, still, and I’m not sure of the etiquette.
Is it a massive faux pas to re-tweet nice things people say about one?
(I read somewhere someone being slagged off for it.)
If someone follows one, is one supposed to thank them?   
Or follow them?
Can one just use it for shameless self-promotion, or is that frowned upon?
Can one call someone horrible names and get away with it?
Is it mostly a receptacle for everyone’s base prejudice and ill-informed opinions
(like most other sites of its kind)?

I know I’m sounding very old, I think I was born with a 43 year-old brain.
(It’s what made me so popular with the girls at school…)
(When I were a lad, all this were fields…you don’t know you’re born…they’ve never improved on Super Mario Kart on the SNES…etc.)

I’m not so much suspicious of this new stuff as bored by it, and it feels like there are too many of these things
now, asking for too much information.
Which is probably why everyone puts up with all the ads and requests for inside leg measurements on Facebook – who can be bothered with setting up another account on yet another site which will store my information and show it to future generations as proof of what credulous, boring sheep pre-revolutionary people must have been?

I didn’t join Facebook until 97% of people were on it, and started to tell me things like:
“You had a gig?  Really?  I didn’t see anything on Facebook about it…so, I didn’t know.”
I suppose these things are tools, only as good/interesting/useful as the skill/consciousness of the user allows.

It took me years to get in to Myspace as well.
When The Glorious New Regime used to use Myspace to promote my activities, I started a blog – which,
like this one, I mostly used to make Top 5 (and Top 10) lists*.  
(Yes, we’ve all read/seen High Fidelity…)

Remember Myspace…?  (For anyone under 25, Myspace is what we all used before facebook became
ubiquitous.  Heady days, yo.)
I do, and here’s the proof – a blog I wrote on the moribund site in 2007, complete with replies from some of
The GNR’s earliest citizens.

17 Jan 2007

Blizzard's Top Tens: Part IV

Clayton Blizzard's Top Ten Songs
To Play At Your/My Funeral/Cremation/Secular Grief Party:

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out, The Smiths
Do You Realise?, The Flaming Lips
Umi Says, Mos Def
Your Daughters And Your Sons, Dick Gaughan
God Bless Our Dead Marines, A Silver Mount Zion Orchestra & Tra La La Band
Caravan of Love, The Housemartins
(That's How You Sing) Amazing Grace, Low
Mommy, What's A Gravedigga?, Gravediggaz
Let's Not Shit Ourselves (To Love And To Be Loved), Bright Eyes
I Say A Little Prayer, Aretha Franklin
NB:  This list is loosely what I would want played at any ceremony/party celebrating my life/death, but is constantly up-dated.  If you find me dead in the street, please search my pockets for the latest hand-written list, which I carry on me at all times.  Thanks.
Feel free to add your own suggestions below...

Clayton Blizzard


Roddy Chewins Deathlist*:

Pump UpThe Volume - M/A/R/R/S
Perfect Saturday - Roddy Chewins Introduces Pie & Chips f. Tommy G
Black Steel In The Hour Of Chaos - Public Enemy
Clouds Across The Moon - Rah Band
Things Can Only Get Better - Howard Jones
We Care A Lot - Faith No More
Enjoy Yourself - The Specials
Falling In Love - NOFX
A Tree Never Grown - Hip Hop for Respect
Fuck Armageddon... This Is Hell - Bad Religion
Scoundrel Days - A-ha
Perfect Saturday - Roddy Chewins Introduces Pie & Chips f. Tommy G (Thatcher's Calcium-Deprived Children Mix)

To: Whomsoever discovers Mr. Chewins' body, please play the above Roddy Chewins Deathlist (copyright Roddy Chewins, 2007) upon finding him. There will be an MP3 player, including speakers, located somewhere on Mr. Chewins' person. Select: Music - Playlists - Roddy Chewins Deathlist - Play. Muchas Gracias.

Posted by Robert Dazzler
Agent to the Stars

PS If you seek representation for your band, project or pet, please contact:
Robert Dazzler
It's Stuck In The Staunchion! Management
Brooklyn, NY
All cases considered! Nothing too obscure!

James Alaska
I'm having "Disco Inferno" by the Trammps as they commit my body to the flames. I'm quite excited about that.

Sui Generis
Something by kylie minogue, and everyone has to wear colourful african clothes and speak without using adjectives.

Clayton Blizzard
How could I have missed out "I'll Be Your Mirror" by The Velvet Underground?
I'm sorry, everyone.  Really sorry.
P.S. And "Into The Mystic" by Van Morrison.
And "Blanket On The Ground" by Tammy Wynette.  Sorry again.

That was then and this is now.
Yo, what happened to Peace?



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