I’m not about to criticise anyone for giving to charity,
right (that should save any Daily Mail columnist/reader an outburst of
professional outrage, and/or a tedious exchange of e-mails. Hopefully.)
But, I’ve been nominated, by a facebook friend (who is a
friend in real life as well, mind), to post a “selfie” (that’s a picture, or
“pic” of oneself, taken with a mobile phone, isn’t it?), with my face made-up,
make a donation to charity, and then I’m supposed to nominate other friends to
do the same thing.
Well, I feel ambivalent about it.
Like the police, charities are necessary primarily because
our society is so conspicuously divided between those with money and power and
those with neither. And, yes, I know exactly
who I’d call if someone broke into my house, or if I needed supporting through
terminal illness.
The work the charities do is what used to be paid for
through taxation – no one loves charities like this slimy Duncan Smith
character, him whose job is to extract as much money as possible from the
poorest and most vulnerable people and give it to the queen’s second cousin, or
whoever. Yeah, the political types want
a “big society”, where charities and NGOs fill in the gaps left by huge,
politically motivated budget cuts.
We’re all in it together, yeah, so let’s raise money for cancer
charities and not make a fuss about closing hospitals, eh?
It’s like, Give A Man A Fish, and he will eat for a
day. Empty the sea of fish, fill it
with waste, buy all the land around the sea and build luxury “apartments”, buy
up the remaining fish stocks, sell them at the rapidly-inflating price, lecture
the subsistence-level fishermen for ruining biodiversity and then give away the
rotten fish you can’t sell to poor starving people, and you’ll make a mint and
look charitable, thereby investing in some highly marketable good will.
I really don’t mean to sound so cynical.…I do though, mind,
don’t I?
No, the thing is, right, as I say, there’s nothing wrong
about giving to charity, and obviously, I don’t mind people asking me to donate
(God, can you imagine if I did? I’d never leave the house, watch TV, look at
the internet or read my mail. Doesn’t
sound too bad, come to think of it).
But the charities and the campaigns and the PR people and
the chuggers…no no no I’m not saying that, am I, I don’t begrudge the chuggers
their living, or the charities their donations, and I know the chuggers will
say why not earn a living helping people?
And I know they’ve probably been trained to say that to horrible cynics
like me, and rationalise it to themselves.
It’s just that the whole thing leaves a slightly unpleasant taste in my
mouth, I don’t know about you…)
Thing is, as well, right, I don’t fancy posting a picture of
myself online, either. It’s not
something I do, hardly ever anyway – yes, exactly! Because of the vanity and self-loathing you
see in a lot of performers and artists, that’s right (I think it’s called
narcissism, or maybe it’s just self-obsession, or something).
No, honestly, I don’t, only very occasionally.
I’m not knocking it, it’s just not for me.
And all that shit like fun runs run dressed up like Rod Hull
and Emu…I just don’t really like the idea of advertising it when I’m giving to
charity.
No, that’s the thing, I’m not knocking it, I know people are
only helping out and having a laugh….I suppose it’s just not my idea of a laugh
– you know, like Comic relief….shite, isn’t it? People sat in a bath full of beans to raise money for people
dying of starvation – why not just give them all the beans, eh? Well, why not? Well, wouldn’t get your picture in the paper, would you…?
Well, ok, that’s a bit harsh, but, well…no I suppose it
doesn’t give me the right to judge anyb – what am I doing? What am I doing
about it?
About what, specifically?
Oh. Umm….
Anyway, I get it, it’s just a bit of fun, and all for a good
cause….this is probably just one of those things that marks me out as Different
To All The Normal People That Just Get On With Things And Enjoy Life And Do
Their Best And Don’t Take Everything So Bloody Seriously.
Yeah, no, you’re right, I’m not saying it’s not a good thi –
I just think, right. I mean…what’s that?
Yeah, I probably would look good in make-up, yeah.
Eye-liner and mascara ha ha ha.
To line my eyes and mask my scars, yeah, very good, mate.
Yeah, I’ll probably just donate the money I suppose, it’s
not much, after all.
And if others give as well, that can only be a good thing,
yeah, you’re right, of course…
Just ignore me, I’m having a bad day/week/don’t belong
here/anywhere/am an awful person…
Much love to those who are suffering, and those who try to
help.
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