Friday, 25 July 2014

My Epic Weekend

My Epic Weekend by Clayton Blizzard
On the weekend I had lots of fun it was amazing I did lots of things and it was epic that is what my brother would call it he is funny.
I did these things:
On Friday it was the Harbour Festival it was in Queen Square we were on a big stage and I was with my friends Bevan and Dan they were DJing when the bands stopped and I was rapping I like rapping and Bevan said I could do it.  There was lots of people there and the sun was shining so everyone was happy.
But then I was told off by a funk legend, he is called Pee-Wee Ellis he played with James Brown and with Van Morrison who are both very famous and very old and James Brown is now dead.  Pee-Wee Ellis looked at me because I was rapping and he wanted to play his saxophone to check it worked (it is called a souncheck) and I was rapping when he wanted to do it so he stared at me and he said “Shut the fuck up!” 
And I did.
And after Pee-Wee Ellis had played his songs I shook his hand and he smiled and he wasn’t angry at me anymore. And then me and Bevan and Dan went back to the stage and I was rapping again and everybody was cheering and there was a lot of people there it was very hot and sunny.  But then we had to stop because it was ten o’clock and the council said everyone had to go home but nobody went home but we had to stop playing anyway.  I said to the crowd “Rock the spot til the break of ten o’clock cos that’s when we close…” that’s like what one of the old rappers in America would have said like Q Tip or Fife Dog from Tribe Called Quest or Old Dirty Bastard.
There were so many people looking at us we couldn’t see anything else only the people. And I liked it.
Then me and my friend Adam went to The Old Duke it has got cobbles outside cobbles are like stones but round and everybody likes them but not when their on there bikes.  Me and Adam put our bikes away from the cobbles next to the toilets.  When I went to the toilets there was a man shaking the toilet when his friend was inside which wasn’t very nice but then the man inside came out of the toilet and he was laughing with his friend.  Grown ups are silly.
Then we went to Mr Wolfs are friends Fin and Paul work there and we had some cider and it was loud.  Then we cycled home and it was lightening in the sky but we weren’t scared it was exciting and Adam said it was a portent and I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what he ment.
Then on Saturday it was the Harbour Festival again and I was at the Grain Barge playing guitar and rapping and singing.  It was raining but there were some people there and they didn’t mind the rain but the stage was wet and the sound man had to cover everything so it didn’t get wet because he said if it gets wet it will blow me up like lightening and I would be dead.
When I was playing my songs a man came up to the stage to tell me a joke he was walking in a wavy line and I couldn’t hear what he was saying but he told me a joke he said his si kiatrist told him to lie on the couch and he asked why and she said she had to sweep up.  I didn’t get it but the man laughed a lot and he nearly fell over.
My friends were there and I was talking to them and having fun and a man from the army came and asked me if I was in the army because I played a song about soldiers but I said I wasn’t in the army ever beforr but the man said how did I know and I said I didn’t know I only guessed.
And my girlfriend was there she is very pretty and she is real and just because you haven’t seen her doesn’t mean she isn’t real she is.  She was dancing with her friends and they all had nice hair like ladies from when my Mum was a little girl.
Then I had to go home and practice because the next day I was playing at a wedding.
The wedding was on a island in a hotel in Devon it was very pretty and everyone was smiling.  It was hot and everybody was panting like a dog does and then saying isn’t it hot I am hot are you?
And I went on a sea tractor a sea tractor has big wheels to go through the water it was high and I could see the sea and the cliffs I like the cliffs they are tall and windy the coast is my favourite place because you can see a long way out to the sea and there was no cars.
The hotel was very fancy and one man said that the toilets were nicer than his house and everybody laughed but I thought it would be good to live in there because it was very clean and didn’t smell bad or look like toilets.
I got a train all by my own to go home and I got home and had a drink and went to bed and it was warm.
And then on Monday I had to go back to school and I wasn’t sad because I had a epic fun weekend to tell you about but now I am a bit sad sometimes I get sad I don’t know why.
If I get to have anoter epic weekend soon I will be happy again and I will tell you about it.
Clayton Blizzard aged 7


  1. cant believe Pee Wee Herman swore at you. I'd have done a rap about him being arrested for masturbating in a public cinema. that would have shown him.

  2. Hi Clayton,

    I had a epic weekend last weekend too cuz I went to 2 concerts in prospect park that's near where I live I live in Brooklyn now that's in Amerika where movies and popcorn and peanut butter and Miley Syrus come from.

    And it was epic cuz on Friday it was bebel Gilberto and she's briziliyin and she wasn't crying about the World Cup but singing bossa nova songs and they were lovely. A big boy near me said it was like elevator music but he was being mean becuz in America elevator means lift. I thought it was plezant and made me feel like sleep.

    And on Saturday I went to deltron 3030. Deltron 3030 are from the future becuz they ware born in the year 3000 and from the past as well becuz they are that old rapper del the funky homosapian and Dan the Automator and kid koala whose not a real koala bear but he did have a costume on so that was fun. And they played all their old rap songs from the future and kid koala plade moon river for his mum becuz his mum love it and she always beleeved in him even when he said he wanted to be a DJ and she said like Casey Kasem and he said no mum an she said like terminator X and he said yeah mum so he played moon river and everybody said that's nice.

    And then in Sunday it wasnt really epic cuz I lied on the couch all day with a sore head and I was sad cuz I miss you but people don't like it when you moan so I pretended I just wanted to be by myself and watch scooby doo on my device.