Friday, 26 August 2016

Conversations Overheard In Pubs #629 – Politics And Sport: Plort. Sporlitics.

Simon:  This is gaunnae be nervy, this wan, Pat.
Pat:        Aye, squeaky bum time right enough!
S:            Whiddae ye make ay aw this Palestine stuff – wavin the flags in the first game, n aw that?
P:            Whit’s aw the fuss?  This is Celtic.  This isnae like other clubs –
S:            Still need tae follow the rules, but.
P:            Aye, awright, just sayin if thur gaunnae fine us fur waving a few flags, fuck them.  Palestine’s a member ay FIFA fur fuck sakes – ur they gaunnae fine anybdy fur huvin an Irish flag, or a Scottish wan, or a bloody Peru flag or whatever? Naw.  So it’s just bloody racist, simple as that.
S:            Ye canny break the rules ay the competition an expect tae git away wi it – that’s whit the Huns done n the SFA let them pretend it’s never happened!  N we’re aw giein them pelters fur it –
P:            Quite right n aw –
S:            Aw, aye, too bloody right.  But we aw know UEFA’s gaunnae do us fur it, so why bother?  Is it       gaunnae help Palestinians fur a fitba team tae get fined?
P:            Aye, well, it might – solidarity, man!  N haud on the noo – talkin aboot wipin countries affay the map, where the fuck is Palestine?  It’s no a nation state, so ye cannae wave thur flag – meanwhile, ye could huv a Saudi flag an ye’d be awright.  ‘S no fuckin fair, no by any standards.  [Looking to the TV] Moan, Sellick!  This is shite!  Get yer arse in gear!
S:            Aye, wur struggling here, makin hard work ay it – we should be beatin this shower easy.                 Bloody Israeli champions, shite!
P:            Aye, n that’s another thing – how are Israel in Europe?
S:            Naw, naw, hang on, that’s cos aw the Arab teams wouldnae play Israel, they don’t recognise Israel, so whit kin they dae?  Fairs fair, like – they’ve a right to play fitba, whitever else is gaun oan…
P:            Aye, well, mibbe.
S:            Nae mibbe aboot it!  Who’s been bloody racist now?  If they cannae play cos they’re Israeli?
P:            What aboot South Africa?  They were barred ootay everythin cos ay Apartheid!  N it aw helped get rid ay they basturts.
S:            This isnae like that, Pat.
P:            How no?  Mandela says it wis.
S:            [suddenly turning back to TV] OOH, YA BASTURT!  That wis nearly in there!  We could get beat here, n nae mistake.  We’re playin mince.
P:            Cannae separate sport n politics, everythin’s politics!  Mind ay the Wurld Cup in Argentina?  They were a military dictatorship, tryin tae look aw legitimate n that – n they waant tae ban Russia fae the Olympics?  Tell us that’s no political, fuck sakes.
S:            Aye, well, ah mean…
P:            N who gits fudin fur their sport, n who disnae?  N who gits put oan telly?  Tell Muhammad  Ali no tae mix sport n politics! Git yersel away tae fuck, he’d tell ye!
S:            Well…
P:            ‘Hing is n aw, if ye try tae keep football oot ay politics, guess who will waant tae get in there?  Aw they right-wing cunts that used tae run aboot English games batterin people and attacking black people an aw that shite – they’ll be pleased tae huv a political vacuum tae run intae!
S:            We’ve nane ay thaim at Celtic, man!
P:            Naw, ah know that fine well, ah’m sayin other places, but.
S:            Aye, yer mibbe right there.  Cannae go back tae the bad old days wi the England fans abusing  thur ain black players, eh?
P:            [at the TV] ‘Moan, Sellick, let’s git stuck intae these!
S:            Cannae dae things easy, eh?  Goat tae gie us aw a heart attack furst…never ever dae things easy, dae we?  Nivir ivir.


P:            YES, YA DANCER!  Cannae believe we goat away wi that!
S:            Right, well, that’s us scraped through – now whit, dae we git the Palestinian flags oot fur the group games or whit?  Get fined every month?
P:            They’ll be sellin them ootside the groond – “’Moan now, git yer Palestinian flags, just £80,000 each!”
S:            Haha, nice one.
P:            Ah’m proud ay the fans fur raisin aw that money fur the charities, but, that wis a perfect                response to aw they UEFA fines.  Best fitba fans in the whail world, man. 
S:            Aye, awright, ah’ll drink tae that
P:            Aye, very good – your round but.
S:            Uh-huh.  Same again?

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