Friday, 30 June 2017

Glassstories 2017

“Some stories are magical, meant to be sung…”
Paul Simon

“Life writes many stories upon us, stories that make us who we are.”
Harvey Denton
Some stories cannot be told chronologically.

You know where you aaaaaaaaaaaare
You know where you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare….
“Well, that’s me done.  I’m finished.  Spent.  Emotionally.”
The Band are absolutely on it.  Graham Greene on keys, Langston Hughes on the tubs.  Literally Literary Motherfuckers.  The Rapper is grateful.  The crowd is live.  Emotions are high.  Life Is Real.
“Happy music is depressing”, he sighs,
“That’s why I always sing
These terrible things, in
Your Mum’s ear
At her birthday party
In her local social cluuuuuuuub…”

The Mandolin Player leans on the bar at the back of the venue, looking at his bandmates.  He is clear and loud, which is a novel treat for him.  He plays better as a result.  But he cannot use a microphone at the same time. 
The Messiah comes down onto the stage and a hush descends.  He surveys the crowd, although without his glasses, the assembled throng are a mere busy blur.  There are at least 26 billion people present.  “I am pretty great, but there will be one who follows me who is greater still.  And s/he will tell you what to do.  I am but a humble facilitator, here to organise His/Her People to be ready for His/Her Revolution of The Spirit.  For I have youth on my side!  HERE I AM, LORD!  I am your instrument!  Play a flattened 9th on me!  Invert the chord sequence!  Modulate, motherfuckers!”
Amid the delirium and chaos, a quiet voice in the crowd intones: “I hoped he’d do ‘I Am The Resurrection’”.

POLITICS:  Hope is absolute fucking bollocks.  I’ll take a reasonable plan over a vaulting hope any time…and we’ll take those alluring promises in writing, thanks.  On a legally binding contract.
ART:  Plans are absolute bollocks.  I’ll take vaulting ambition over a plan any time.  And I will promise everything and nothing and none of it will be verifiable or accountable.

For The Messiah did not come to tell us what to do!  The Messiah came to show us of what We are capable – that we even are capable!  It is written: “Solemnly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.  And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.   You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”
And he held my face, my very face, and told me everything will be alright.  He told me everything will be alright if WE make it alright, and finally I understood.  And there were no plaintive whines, no cries of entitlement, not a snowflake in sight.  There was a massive crowd moving through itself, creating itself, inventing itself, becoming itself.  And some surprisingly wild reactions to some surprisingly mild rhetoric.  And then Run The Jewels came on.

Run The Jewels are one of those Rap Groups they have now.  One of them describes himself as a “chubby rapper”, which is funny because it’s true.  Their warm-up act was a well-known veteran politician making his Glastonbury debut, but for some reason, a lot of people leave after the support act and don’t stay for the Heavy Rap Shit.  Weirdos.
“You wanna hear a good joke?  Nobody speak – nobody gets choked!”
The end ends with There Is a Light That Never Goes Out, but it doesn’t really actually end there.  There are no endings In Real Life, are there?  But this isn’t Real Life, this is a Story.  And we can do whatever we want with stories.  So let’s just say the whole thing closed out thusly:

Ugly spectres loom among the revellers.  Darkness, having enveloped the just and the unjust, is cast off just as starkly, exposing every sin and every act of grace to full view.  The dulling effects of the outside world persist, despite the best efforts of the artists and Party People.  Eternal vigilance is the price of carefree superhappyfuntimes.  Ironically.
But, as in the outside world, the spectres persist, but need not be heeded or accommodated.  As in the outside world, those with love will find this easier.  Let’s look after each other, yeah?
Sunday’s quotes of the day:
“I’m gonna marry the fuck out of you – and it is not gonna be a dignified ceremony.”
“Singing along is not mandatory, but if you don’t sing along, you’re a massive bag of horses cocks.”
“I don’t mind paying premium price for a premium pint, right, but there is just absolutely no shitting way I’m paying nearly a fiver for a pint of Carlsberg.  The bloody robdogs.”

The Drummer joins in “for old time’s sake”. 
“For old time’s sake”, The Rapper smiles.
The Pianist smiles. 
The Drummer and The Pianist gang up on The Rapper – purely for comic effect, you understand.
“Just because we’re in the Circus Field, doesn’t mean youse pair need to be clowns!”  At the mention of the word “Circus”, the pianist immediately plays Entry Of The Gladiators.  The Band are indeed skilled acrobats, walking the tightrope stretched from the Platform Of Maximum Annoyance to the Platform Of Hilarity.
It’s a bit shambolic, compared to the other set they played, which was an angelic, uplifting, ethereal, out-of-body experience.  But it’s not bad, and everyone has a pretty good laugh.  It can’t always be so emotionally intense, can it?
Two very famous people are at the West Holts stage (it used to be the Jazz World Stage, do you remember?)  They are very, very famous.  So famous, that, as they have no obvious professional or personal connection, they presumably only know each other because they are both so Very Famous.  They are watching the singer on stage who is the younger sister of someone who is equally – perhaps even more – famous than they.
A young woman turns around and makes eye contact with one of the Very Famous People.  As she opens her mouth to speak, a handler appears from nowhere and ushers her away from the Very Famous People, speaking very quickly and very quietly, like the disclaimer at the end of a radio advert.  The young woman is told that she can absolutely say Hello to the Very Famous People, but must absolutely not take any pictures. 
The young woman is bemused as the handler melts back into the crowd.
Finally, she speaks to the Very Famous People:
“Hi….um…have you got a light, please?”

“What is the purpose of song, if not to get us singing along?”
The crowd sings along:
“Hold on, my heart is breaking, but
Life is so much richer with you in it
Thank you for staying
Thank you for being my friend.”

“Maintain all the love, all the fraternal feelings, all the joy, and take them out into The Real World, where they are so sorely needed.” Says The Rapper, and people look bemused. 
Hopefully because they didn’t need telling.
PHEW!  For a minute there, I lost myself…..


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