>From: "C Blizzard"
<xxxxxx@xxxl.xxx>
>To: theamazingxxxx@xxx.xxx
>Subject: Where you two to?
>Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2006 15:08:43 +0000
>
>Yo
>Where you two to?
>We used to talk, all the time, now it's been a while,
>what's up with that?
>But, seriously, get in touch,
>let me know how it's going.
>Peace
>Blizzard
>To: theamazingxxxx@xxx.xxx
>Subject: Where you two to?
>Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2006 15:08:43 +0000
>
>Yo
>Where you two to?
>We used to talk, all the time, now it's been a while,
>what's up with that?
>But, seriously, get in touch,
>let me know how it's going.
>Peace
>Blizzard
>From: theamazingxxxx@xxx.xxx
>To: "C Blizzard" <xxxxxx@xxxl.xxx>
>Subject: Where you two to?
>To: "C Blizzard" <xxxxxx@xxxl.xxx>
>Subject: Where you two to?
Vietnam. Mui Ne Beach. What are you, my mum? Write another song then i might be interested.
Obviously i jest and the mere chance to bask in the sweaty, refelcted glory of your awesome talent/gut (we all know its the source of all your power, if you got skinny you'd become a ten-thumbed, tone-deaf public accountant with conservative tendancies, overnight) is more privalege that i deserve. By the way, your music is being appreciated across the globe, if only i had
that album that you sent to [name removed on legal advice] for me months ago i could do some real
plugging, then i could push you for some cash. Alas i just keep playing my MP3 and handing out 'my space' addresses.
All is well here and Vietnam is great. Lovely country and the people are really friendly, which makes a change from Cambodia where if you don't give money to the street kids who beg every couple of feet (the general line is: "Hey you, give me money. Hey Mister, you stupid, stupid man, give me
money"), they follow you for the rest of the street and if you still don't give they punch you. They're only small but try getting a dig in the ribs every 10 feet and see how you like it. That said you have to be impressed by their language skills and entrepeneurial ventures - give them a postcard and they'll come back with 20 photocopies asking for 2000 riel a piece.
I won't go on too long as i've just picked up one from [name removed on legal advice] too and realised (whilst sitting in my guesthouse in Hanoi a full two weeks after starting this but stopping due to dubious internet access) that its been about three months since i did an email. Basically the story is that we had our camera stolen in Chiang Mai in Thailand and haven't summoned the
motivation to send unillustrated emails since. Now behold my gratuitous mountain shots!!!!
Ah i love a good mountain shot. What can i say, most people are boring but mountains, now we're cooking with napalm. Anywho we're back in gloomy old England on the 21st(like two weeks?) or summit. so i'll save the A material for then.
but here's one just in case you
missed my special smile.
Yeah laters.
Lots of Love
M--- x x
Yeah laters.
Lots of Love
M--- x x
>.From: "C Blizzard" <xxxxxx@xxxl.xxx>
>.To: theamazingxxxx@xxx.xxx
> >Subject: Sssshhhhhhhhhhhhh
> >Date: Thu, 06 Jul 2006 14:35:06 +0000
> >
> >Hmmm
> >Nice to see absence hasn’t made the heart grow fonder.
> >I did write a new song, but it’s not recorded. It’s called The More Things
> >Change, The More They Stay The Same, appropriately. Appropriate because
> >that’s what I thought when I saw the lovely e-mail you sent. Do you write
> >your own stuff? It’s hilarious. How do you keep saying the same thing
> >(ie, that I’m fat – a-ha ha ha ha ha) and keep it so fresh? Really, you
> >should give Jimmy Carr a call, I hear he’s looking for some new material to
> >compensate for having no talent.
> >So, if you restrict your comments to the usual side splitting fat jokes
> >that I love so much, I’ll resist the urge to pedantically correct your
> >spelling. Deal?
> >I’m glad my music is appreciated across the globe, thanks for all your
> >promotional work. Naturally, I can’t pay you anything for it, but I’m sure
> >helping me out gives you a saintly glow and makes you feel all special
> >inside. There’s a tune on myspace you won’t have heard (I think) called
> >Comic Belief. Go and check it out when you get the chance.
> >Call me when you get back to Blighty, clownshoes.
> >
> >Peace or Something
> >Blizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzrd
> >
> >P.S. Seen any of the World Cup? England’s exit was characteristically
> >melodramatic – they still think they’re unlucky, even though they played
> >shite throughout and scraped through to the Quarter Finals. Most comical.
> >I watched the penalty shoot-out they lost in a room full of English, trying
> >to conceal my intense joy; it was harder than trying to hide an erection.
> >Subject: Sssshhhhhhhhhhhhh
> >Date: Thu, 06 Jul 2006 14:35:06 +0000
> >
> >Hmmm
> >Nice to see absence hasn’t made the heart grow fonder.
> >I did write a new song, but it’s not recorded. It’s called The More Things
> >Change, The More They Stay The Same, appropriately. Appropriate because
> >that’s what I thought when I saw the lovely e-mail you sent. Do you write
> >your own stuff? It’s hilarious. How do you keep saying the same thing
> >(ie, that I’m fat – a-ha ha ha ha ha) and keep it so fresh? Really, you
> >should give Jimmy Carr a call, I hear he’s looking for some new material to
> >compensate for having no talent.
> >So, if you restrict your comments to the usual side splitting fat jokes
> >that I love so much, I’ll resist the urge to pedantically correct your
> >spelling. Deal?
> >I’m glad my music is appreciated across the globe, thanks for all your
> >promotional work. Naturally, I can’t pay you anything for it, but I’m sure
> >helping me out gives you a saintly glow and makes you feel all special
> >inside. There’s a tune on myspace you won’t have heard (I think) called
> >Comic Belief. Go and check it out when you get the chance.
> >Call me when you get back to Blighty, clownshoes.
> >
> >Peace or Something
> >Blizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzrd
> >
> >P.S. Seen any of the World Cup? England’s exit was characteristically
> >melodramatic – they still think they’re unlucky, even though they played
> >shite throughout and scraped through to the Quarter Finals. Most comical.
> >I watched the penalty shoot-out they lost in a room full of English, trying
> >to conceal my intense joy; it was harder than trying to hide an erection.
From: theamazingxxxx@xxx.xxx
To: "C Blizzard" <xxxxxx@xxxl.xxx>
Subject: RE: ah-ttthhhhhbbbbbbbllllllsht
Date: Sat, 8 Jul 2006 10:05:59 +0100
Come come now Clayton, England losing in the World Cup? Its not like hiding
an erection, it IS hiding an erection. And don't try to tell me you didn't
strut your way home, tenting proudly all the way, and finish yourself off
afterwards. We all did and its nothing to be ashamed of! In fact i for one
am a very proud heathen sctattering my seed on any kind of ground within
three feet! Besides no-one really thought they'd do anything but set
themselves up for even bigger dissappointment, plus i'm just happy Lampard
got found out for the spawny little cum-sucking shit-box that he really is.
Best contract in England Frank? Whats that for then? Your famed for
failure "one touch and shoot" technique? Yes you may well walk around with
a face like a smacked arse.
But listen you know that if had realised that you were going to be all
man-strual about it i would never make any fat jokes. Poor Blizzy-whizzy!
Now why don't you run yourself a nice hot bath, get some scented candles on
the go, whack on some Kenny G and relax guy! Oh and you wanna talk about
spelling? Surely there's an 'a' in Blizzard? Now don't go getting all
weepy and start binge eating the Haagendaaz, i'm just suggesting you learn
to sign at least one of your own names properly. You'll be the bigger (no
pun intended) man for it.
Oh and don't mind me and my tardy emailing, i'm just getting all shitty
knickers coz i have to come back in a fortnight. But at least there's the
practice of basking in the reflected glory of your undeniably great
musicability to look forward to! In fact your so talented and marketable i
might as well just slit my wrists now and not bother with the spirit
crushing envy and self doubt later.
Well that's just about enough self-deprication and idol worship for now.
I'll check the new tune (when i can get near decent internet- currently
using the free one in my guesthouse which obviously lies unused until 2 mins
after i start when some hefty 18 stone Euro tart will plop herself down next
to me and start huffing , not sure if she's waiting or just that close to a
cardiac arrest, that's right bitch read it over my shoulder, now look at me,
now look away, say my name, now shut the fuck up!) and do you know if [name removed on legal advice] is still holding that copy of your album for me or what? Obviously i don't
mind spunking away more money i don't have for the 1 cause that is the New
Regime (in which i'm hoping all monetary records will be abolished) but it'd
be nice to know, fuck it i'll just have two.
Catch you in a few!
Sleaze
Lots of love
M--- x x
Subject: RE: ah-ttthhhhhbbbbbbbllllllsht
Date: Sat, 8 Jul 2006 10:05:59 +0100
Come come now Clayton, England losing in the World Cup? Its not like hiding
an erection, it IS hiding an erection. And don't try to tell me you didn't
strut your way home, tenting proudly all the way, and finish yourself off
afterwards. We all did and its nothing to be ashamed of! In fact i for one
am a very proud heathen sctattering my seed on any kind of ground within
three feet! Besides no-one really thought they'd do anything but set
themselves up for even bigger dissappointment, plus i'm just happy Lampard
got found out for the spawny little cum-sucking shit-box that he really is.
Best contract in England Frank? Whats that for then? Your famed for
failure "one touch and shoot" technique? Yes you may well walk around with
a face like a smacked arse.
But listen you know that if had realised that you were going to be all
man-strual about it i would never make any fat jokes. Poor Blizzy-whizzy!
Now why don't you run yourself a nice hot bath, get some scented candles on
the go, whack on some Kenny G and relax guy! Oh and you wanna talk about
spelling? Surely there's an 'a' in Blizzard? Now don't go getting all
weepy and start binge eating the Haagendaaz, i'm just suggesting you learn
to sign at least one of your own names properly. You'll be the bigger (no
pun intended) man for it.
Oh and don't mind me and my tardy emailing, i'm just getting all shitty
knickers coz i have to come back in a fortnight. But at least there's the
practice of basking in the reflected glory of your undeniably great
musicability to look forward to! In fact your so talented and marketable i
might as well just slit my wrists now and not bother with the spirit
crushing envy and self doubt later.
Well that's just about enough self-deprication and idol worship for now.
I'll check the new tune (when i can get near decent internet- currently
using the free one in my guesthouse which obviously lies unused until 2 mins
after i start when some hefty 18 stone Euro tart will plop herself down next
to me and start huffing , not sure if she's waiting or just that close to a
cardiac arrest, that's right bitch read it over my shoulder, now look at me,
now look away, say my name, now shut the fuck up!) and do you know if [name removed on legal advice] is still holding that copy of your album for me or what? Obviously i don't
mind spunking away more money i don't have for the 1 cause that is the New
Regime (in which i'm hoping all monetary records will be abolished) but it'd
be nice to know, fuck it i'll just have two.
Catch you in a few!
Sleaze
Lots of love
M--- x x
From: blizXXXX@xxxxxxx.com
To: services@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: Quality Assurance Job(s)
Date: Mon, 7 Oct 2013 09:42:06 +0000
To: services@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: Quality Assurance Job(s)
Date: Mon, 7 Oct 2013 09:42:06 +0000
Hello There, how are you?
Quality Assurance Jobs In Bristol
This is an Application, or "app".
You will find attached my CV, or "resume".
This is my cover letter.
Reasons Why You Should Definitely Give Me The Job
This cover letter.
My creativity,
dilligence,
honesty,
curiosity,
perfectionism (meticulousness! Pedantry, even)
playful use of language,
quick wit,
and punctuality.
My Second Class Honours Degree in 'Media With Literature' from the University of East London.
Reasons Why You Probably Shouldn't Give Me The Job
This cover letter.
My lack of experience in the field.
The sorry fact that eleven and a half years ago, I was convicted of Drunk & Disorderly Behaviour.*
The harsh reality that I really really need a job.**
The fact that you have lots and lots of people to choose from.
My Second Class Honours Degree in 'Media With Literature' from the University of East London.
About me
I'm not like everyone else.
My beliefs are simple and commonplace: humankind is merely materialised colour operating on the 49th vibration,
will.i.am is the anti-Christ -
and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are humankind's greatest achievement.
Soooo.......talk soon, yeah?
Love or something,
Clayton Blizzard
*(I paid my fine, and that was that. I have been drunk since, but not disorderly.
I have had no further contact with the police or courts.)
**(I have heard that desperation is most unattractive, but I am honest.)
Quality Assurance Jobs In Bristol
This is an Application, or "app".
You will find attached my CV, or "resume".
This is my cover letter.
Reasons Why You Should Definitely Give Me The Job
This cover letter.
My creativity,
dilligence,
honesty,
curiosity,
perfectionism (meticulousness! Pedantry, even)
playful use of language,
quick wit,
and punctuality.
My Second Class Honours Degree in 'Media With Literature' from the University of East London.
Reasons Why You Probably Shouldn't Give Me The Job
This cover letter.
My lack of experience in the field.
The sorry fact that eleven and a half years ago, I was convicted of Drunk & Disorderly Behaviour.*
The harsh reality that I really really need a job.**
The fact that you have lots and lots of people to choose from.
My Second Class Honours Degree in 'Media With Literature' from the University of East London.
About me
I'm not like everyone else.
My beliefs are simple and commonplace: humankind is merely materialised colour operating on the 49th vibration,
will.i.am is the anti-Christ -
and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are humankind's greatest achievement.
Soooo.......talk soon, yeah?
Love or something,
Clayton Blizzard
*(I paid my fine, and that was that. I have been drunk since, but not disorderly.
I have had no further contact with the police or courts.)
**(I have heard that desperation is most unattractive, but I am honest.)
10/05/2005
Wassup.
In reply to fwd e from R-----, I recorded a 3-track demo on CD (vox and guitar only), which
M------ will copy. Once he's done that, I'll send you a few to distribute among the Brooklyn crew. I'll send you one for S----- at V-----, if you could pass one on to him that would be lovely.
Tell him I said hello.
Below is a poem you can read at their open mic night if you fancy. It's also a hello/bigup yobadself, and a rudimentary discussion about the effectiveness (or otherwise) of peaceful protest in the face of the most powerful empire the world has ever known. All references are to real events/people. (See if you can remember them. Hopefully the idea of putting a pig on a horse is universally abhorred.)
In reply to fwd e from R-----, I recorded a 3-track demo on CD (vox and guitar only), which
M------ will copy. Once he's done that, I'll send you a few to distribute among the Brooklyn crew. I'll send you one for S----- at V-----, if you could pass one on to him that would be lovely.
Tell him I said hello.
Below is a poem you can read at their open mic night if you fancy. It's also a hello/bigup yobadself, and a rudimentary discussion about the effectiveness (or otherwise) of peaceful protest in the face of the most powerful empire the world has ever known. All references are to real events/people. (See if you can remember them. Hopefully the idea of putting a pig on a horse is universally abhorred.)
Enjoy. Peace.
Letter To New York
So, how’s tricks in the home of the proto-world government?
Have you found a job you don’t hate yet?
Is there any chance of withholding your taxes –
Or do they gather dust in your in tray like my boss’ faxes?
We marched before March but it didn’t make a difference
We smiled at Police and their scowls never hurt us
As they helped us exercise our rights, by
Closing off Westminster in the sunshine
We marched on Broadmead and pretended we weren’t
And a pig on a horse acted hurt
by our criminal deceit
I’m really appalled by animal cruelty
So are you up for getting strapped to an Abrams tank?
Or risking your skin in front of an F-16?
I don’t think I am. I’d rather vent spleen.
Bumped into this kiddie recently
Used to sit next to him in Maths class, and watch him get bullied
He left school, got pumped, and became a Marine
Now he’s running round Basra on a killing spree
Undisturbed by geopolitical expediency
He’s on the rampage for freedom and democracy
Should’ve stepped in when he got bullied but I was scared for me
He’s now involved in intervention . . . . .
The irony is not lost on me.
So are you up for strapping yourself to an Abrams tank?
Extreme nonviolence is a thankless task.
I’m not even Christian, but I can’t get past,
Fighting fire with fire will burn our towns down fast.
So, we marched before March but prevented no violence
But I’ve never even thrown a bottle at Police
Mostly avoiding self-destructive release
We strive against brutal silence
For a raucous PEACE.
Love and Stuff,
Clayton Blizzard
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