Following on from a running theme – that of me talking more playing less at gigs, making a gradual transition to stand-up comedy…
I’ve always been tempted to be a comedian – after all, who’s
happier and more generous of spirit than a stand-up comedian?
Anyway, I don’t think I should, because most of my act would
be like this:
How come 90% of taxi drivers are foreign, and the other 10%
are massively racist?
They must have interesting works nights out….it’s probably
like Cable Street, 1936.
No…?
No one gets that, it pre-supposes at least a passing
knowledge of British social and political history.
Most successful comedians prefer an intimate knowledge of
pub toilets, or Children’s TV programmes from the 80s, don’t they?
There’s too much choice now, isn’t there?
When I was a child, there was three flavours of crisps,
right.
And two of them were rubbish.
There was plain (or ready salted – a complete misnomer, both
grammatically and as a flavour of crisps), cheese ‘n’ onion and salt ‘n’
vinegar (both also a grammatical and culinary disappointment).
Also, how come everyone has to turn around to say
something? Can’t we just face the
person we’re speaking to?
And another thing: what’s with this airline food….?
So, that’s why I probably shouldn’t be a stand-up.
Next week’s attempt at observational comedy will include me
noticing something that you’ve noticed but never thought to comment on. Because you’re not a professional comedian,
are you?
You’d never think to comment on something amusing but
ultimately inconsequential that you’ve noticed…
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