Finland is
called Suomi in Suomalainen.
Suomailainen is Finnish in Suomalainen.
Suomalainen
isn’t like other European languages.
It’s a bit like Hungarian, mostly in that it isn’t like other European
languages. It may take years to learn
it; years spent shaking the head and asking “But, why…?” It’s not a language
many foreigners learn, as most Suomalainen acknowledge.
Suomi is a
bit like the rest of Scandinavia (Sweden, Norway, Denmark), but it may or not
actually be a part of Scandinavia (more on that later). It shares a border with Russia and is one of
the 90% of countries in the world that was dominated by powerful neighbours.
(The current
political story is that the Finnish government have just announced plans for
national civil defense in preparation for any potential Russian aggression…which
seems highly unlikely to me, but then I didn’t grow up sharing a border with
one of the biggest armies in history that ruled over much of eastern Europe,
wondering if my peaceful, progressive wee country would again be taken over by
the powerful neighbour. The government
have recently sent letters to reservists and strategically-important private
companies concerning “readiness” and civil defense planning following the
conflict in Ukraine. Finns have
subjected these international events to the “cold, hard analysis” for which
they are known, and there has been, according to some, a growth in nationalist
and patriotic feeling in response to the potential threat, for which every single
country in the world is known.)
Anyway,
never mind that, we’re on us hols…
We arrive in
Helsinki at lunchtime and find our digs in a “cool neighbourhood”. It all seems pretty quiet for a capital city;
having lived in London and the busier parts of Bristol, anything less than
thousands of people running around the place in a hurry and making loads of
unnecessary noise seems nice and quiet to me.
Maybe it’s
because it’s nearly Juhannus (that’s Midsummer to you – or Solstice, if you
prefer). It’s like Christmas Day,
apparently, but in summer – a big holiday where most people go to summer houses
for the week/end.
For a
country (half) in the Arctic Circle, lots of light – and temperatures that
don’t make your piss freeze – is well worth celebrating. It’s dark for months on end through the
winter, and you can only go outside if you are in seventeen layers of bear
skin. Or used to it.
It will be
light for most of the time we are here, although not especially warm. Pretty much like Britain’s June weather, but
more so.
We mostly take
it easy on Day One, but find time to check out the cathedral. (I like churches and cathedrals. I just don’t know why.)
The Helsinki
Cathedral is impressive (not my pic, mind.
.
There’s some
pretty impressive buildings all over town, in fact. This is the central train station:
(My pic, mind.)
We also
check out the Torni (tower) Hotel and its 13th floor bar. The views are pretty good:
After ordering
drinks and looking at my change several times, I realise that we are paying a
pretty penny for the view, which I don’t mind too much. I do mind the cold, being outside for a while
– I’ve been caught out as tourists often are, in shorts and short sleeves, so
stop to buy a jumper. (I didn’t really
feel the cold when I was a fat bastard.
Now that I am a somewhat thinner bastard, it bothers me.)
We head back
to our neighbourhood and get a meal at the local bar, which is Stokes Croft
(but not quite Shoreditch) level of cool (so, about right), and busy enough for
a Wednesday night.
As is the
way in Northern European countries, Asian food is popular; the bar does
Vietnamese food, which is very popular with us.
After handing over 15 Euro for two drinks, I am expecting some change,
but I’m actually short for the round.
Well, we’re on us hols – we’ll either piss all our money up a wall, in
traditional style, or drink a bit less….we’re British tourists. Guess which one we choose.
(I wouldn’t mind
paying Scandinavian prices/taxes for Scandinavian standard of living.)
The DJ in
the bar plays Pharcyde, Tribe Called Quest and Beastie Boys, and we are sat on
old sofas eating good Vietnamese food and drinking high-quality European beer
and cider. Life is good.
The DJ even
drops in Last Of The Famous International Playboys…these people.
These People
are my Holiday Reps, and they’re doing a fantastic job.
As we leave,
I big up the DJ and tell him “Anyone that plays Pharcyde, Tribe and Morrissey in
the same set is alright by me.” He
laughs and looks at me like I’m drunk.
We leave the
bar at half-past midnight and it’s still light.
Which is interesting. We’ve been
up and travelling and walking around a long time, so it feels more like being
up all night drinking than leaving the pub early.
The next day
it rains all day, so we decide against the trip to a beautiful island for
picnics and general summer hanging out.
And it’s pretty cold once the sun goes in (which it does most of the
time). There is a whole archipelago
around Helsinki, but it’s probably best explored in good weather.
Instead, we
visit Kamppi Chapel (another church, I know, I know), which is a nice little
place, the kind London could do with, ie, a non-monetised quiet space where
anyone can go and chill for a bit to escape the madness of the big city. It’s recently-built, so doesn’t quite have
the baggage of many British/European churches, which tend to scream
QUAKEBEFOREMEUNWORTHYSINNERSYOUMAYNOTENTERGODSHOUSEWITHOUTBOWINGYOURUNWORTHYHEADS
with their imposing facades, high walls and austere, intimidating
atmosphere. And huge gold statues next
to a person who took a vow of poverty preaching to poor people about how they
should give all their possessions away….ah, that’s
why I like churches.
But Helsinki
is still pretty quiet. Isn’t it always
the way – all the good chill-out stuff is in places that aren’t that hectic
anyway?
The day is
all a bit dreech but the buildings are cool, so it reminds me of Glasgow. Lovely.
You can’t
buy alcohol of more than 5%ABV at a shop/supermarket in Finland (as in parts of
the US, and all of Norway, I think). You
have to go to an Alko (off licence) for the hard stuff. Everything is expensive, except wine which is
quite reasonable by British standards.
So I decide to play it safe and head to the normal shops for some normal
Finnish beer instead of the high fallutin’ (you, know nice) stuff.
We head back
to the cathedral because there’s a concert on.
It’s a performance including works by Sibelius, Finland’s most famous composer
(he wrote the national anthem). Watch
this space for a proper review of that performance…
We head back
to the digs and watch Last Action Hero with Finnish subtitles while grazing
contentedly.
On Day
Three, like most Suomalianen, we head to the country. Friends of friends have generously agreed to
host us with their crew, so we’re off to Espoo for a traditional/international
Finnish Midsummer celebration. There are
thirteen of us, and nationalities represented include (in alphabetical order):
Canada, Finland, France, India, Russia, UK and Zimbabwe, with some Celtic roots
(there’s no getting away from them).
The
traditional thing is to head to a summer house in the countryside. I’m told Espoo is a city, but it looks like
the suburbs where I grew up, except much, much nicer. There’s loads of space between the houses,
there’s a forest at the end of the road and the whole place is lush and
verdant.
We’re made
to feel totally welcome and everyone is cool.
(Big Up The Juhannus crew – and kiitos to our hosts.)
After being
told solemnly that all Finnish houses are shoes-off-at-the-door, we dutifully
dump the foot prisons on the porch.
(Aren’t most British houses shoes-off-at-the-door? I thought so – but here it’s kind of a big
deal, apparently.)
After all
the introductions and stock-piling of beer and cider, we head into the forest
to gather flowers and birch branches.
The flowers are for head-dresses/crowns and the tradition is for young
girls to put seven different types of flowers under the pillow and dream of the
husband to come…or something like that.
The birch branches
are for vihta (this is the Western Finnish name – in the east, they are known as
vasta), which is for the sauna (which is pronounced saa-woo-nah). The vihta is to hit people on the back with
in the sauna….which is nicer than it sounds.
It also makes the sauna smell nice.
I watched a
video (in Finnish) on how to make one.
It’s like a fan made of branches, sort of.
We head back
to the house, which reminds me of the US colonial-era style: it’s a large
detached house with wooden panels and a covered porch. It’s pretty idyllic here. Here’s to a lovely weekend in the country.
I’m looking
forward to my first ever saa-woo-na…
TO
BE CONTINUED
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